Tuesday, November 16, 2004

puberty (in reverse)

i'm being completely superficial, and i know it, clap my hands (clap clap)

where did my tits go?
seriously. where the fuck did they go?
now when i was in high school, i was so flat that there was really no reason for me to ever wear a bra. in fact, when i did wear one, it was only so that those blonde big tittied bitches wouldn't make fun of me. p.s. nothing looks worse under a shirt than a bra that don't fit...you might as well it on the OUTSIDE of your shirt. (now i rarely wear a bra by choice).
not only did i have a washboard bosom, one was a lot rounder than the other. i would think out loud, "hey, God. it's jen. where the fuck are my tits? now i can deal with no tits, but uneven ones? thy wrath on puberty hath no mercy."
so i hit what i call my REAL puberty about three years ago. I finally got some fairly legitimate sweatermeat. but something's happened over the past six months. I have noticed a gradual shrinkage. My bisexual friend no longer likes to play with funbags. My other bisexual friend now only makes comments to her friends like, "she's got the most perfect nipples"...Oh God. I'm down to nipple noteriety. I am wearing PADDED BRAS. High school insecurities are writhing through my skin. Someone give me a breast transfusion. Stat.


Blogger marv said...

funny, i too speaketh unto the Lord in Old English.

and even if you deflate to only nipple-protrusion, you will still rock. and if a guy steals second base for some nipple action up your shirt, just say no. and don't do drugs. (afterschool special, here i come!)

November 16, 2004 at 2:13 PM  
Blogger Yellow Snow said...

hmmm. do not dilute yourself like that.

November 21, 2004 at 12:19 PM  

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