Tuesday, March 01, 2005

the problem with alone...

the problem with alone is that i think i'm invincible to all the depressing things that come with the territory. i pretend that i'm superwoman and i go through the motions of extra showers and extra teeth brushings and flossings so as to feel like i have direction and am getting things done...i start paying my bills on time and making my own food and pretty soon i'm following this esoteric cult of 20 something women finding independence and themselves through jivamukti yoga and stella mccartney asana workout clothes...god help me.

but then once in awhile, i come across these disastrously beautiful displays of evidence in the real life happening right now and not involving me existence of movie love, and i realize that i am not unconquerable by this territory. loneliness and a need to affect and be affected by is killer.

my favorite hobby (time waster) right now is finding shapes and characters in my bathroom marble walls (like the cloud game)...so far i've found jesus superstar and the bottom half of alice in wonderland's blue and white silk taffeta dress (which i've changed to shantung today b/c i'm so snarky...)

yeah, i need to get a job.

on a lighter note...

1) london and paris were great, i'm a huge fobby sonia rykiel whore now.

2) i pissed my wool pants and favorite shoes in front of my hotel. sober. and in fatty's words "en masse," the best part of the trip

3) i'm no longer bed ridden and am searching for new buddies to do new things

4) my new phone is coming...

5) steph sent me cupcakes. :)


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