Tuesday, April 12, 2005

UNNH! Double Nut, uNnh UHnnh!!!

I know in the Sir Mixalot version it's "Double Up," but today when I walked the street to my interview, I reserved the right to root myself on with my own otherwise version. And my "UNNH! Double Nut, uNnh UHnnh!!!" comes with two less than swift pelvic thrusts in the air, double schwing, Garth style. This is something I have to do...it's my show of overcompensation, because when I go to bed the night before an interview, I am counting the number of times "I am a huge fat boner loser" crosses my mind. And in the morning, I usually reserve about three minutes for a last minute vomiting. So, even when I'm applying for the the least favorable of jobs, I have to amp myself up on the way there just so I won't piss myself while I'm answering questions about my work.
Anyway, with the aforementiond Double Nut in mind...I realized I do a lot of weird stuff to boost my ego. Including looking in the mirror and repeating little cockmaster phrases like "You rule" and "You can do eet." Please don't let me be alone here.